woensdag 1 februari 2012

Zo begon ons leven in Zweden 9 jaar geleden

Congratulations! I have been granted to live in Sweden. I have my Swedish national number, but that doesn’t mean anything! Oke I can go to the library, I can go to the doctor, I can get my medication, but when I go to the bank! I only have my passport from Holland and NO national Swedish number in it and many times there will be a fight to prove that, it is me, even do my picture and signature are mine! We don’t have right jet to have a Swedish identity card because I am not Swedish!! It is very complicated!! I few months ago I had that problem so I went to get my papers at immigration and they told me go to that office 2 pictures and you get an identity card, so I went! Are you Swedish! No Dutch! Than you can’t have it! I brought my passport!  No we can’t use that! Why not! Your personal number is not in it! No that is why I want a Swedish identity card!! You need to prove that it is you! But is says it is me! You can’t prove that, Can you bring your partner, Oke, but he is Scottish! Does he have a Swedish passport! No, Aha, than he can’t prove either who he is!! Grrr I nearly lost it there. Then she said: But you can bring your mother! I said that will be difficult she lives in Holland! But does she have a Swedish passport!! NOOOOOOOOO she is Dutch, It that moment I wanted to strangle that women. We can’t help you, but do you have a bank! Yes I have, they will give you one! So I went to my bank, yes no problem, go to the desk. I waited half an hour. No problem will be back in a minute! Ahum there is a problem, in your passport there is no personal number!! I know, that is why I want an identity card from the bank, so that when I want to put money in my account/or take some out, I not having the problem to prove who I am. By that time my blood pressure was 200. After an hour, I left the bank, and went to the police!! Can I have an identity card! Never heard of that!! But if you go to our office in Sundsvall 2 hours from her by train, maybe they can help you!!! So after living more than 5 years in Sweden you still need to prove who you are! Because your passport doesn’t count in Swedish law, ans still doesn`t

(Lucky this has changed 2 years ago, now you can have a Swedish identity card,with your personal number ,which I have now, and no problems more)
Sometimes I absolutely quiver with rage. You will bang your head against the wall. You will wonder what kind of madhouse you have ended up in, and in the end, maybe, you will love Sweden.

You have come to the first country in the world that banned corporal punishment of children. What does that prove? It proves that Sweden is a country that is not afraid to acknowledge who are weak and need protection. There is a respect even for the weakest of all – the children.
(if this sometimes is the best solution, I don’t know, they talk here with there children, !!!!! They totally have no respect more for there elders, everything is handed out to them, they go to school till there 21 and they get paid for this!!!

Sweden is also the first country in Europe to grant municipal voting rights to immigrants without Swedish citizenship.
(We done this once, we came in a small building were papers were with Yes and No and they asked you which one you wanted! We took both, they said yes but you only can vote Yes or No, Yes we know but we don’t want you to know what we vote!!!)

By my path to loving Sweden has not always been an easy one. (Which I find out over the years, all the way it has been a fight and it still is, I have spoken to many people who moved to Sweden, and many who live here even for more than 30 years you will never be one of them. People are friendly but very closed and distant.
I often get angry, There are so many bureaucrats, ( I think halve of the jobs are in counsel jobs)

My first years, I did everything wrong, Swedish is not an easy language, but they said I spoke good Swedish but they never correct you! They are frightened to correct you and that they make a fool of themselves. They won’t help you to learn the language. And I made mistakes. Lot’s of them. Mistakes that made my cheeks burn, when I think back on them today (and I still make many mistakes)

It took me a few years before I started bothering by typically Swedish things I thought were ridiculous. I made lot of blunders. I stumbled across thousand invisible boundaries and when acquaintances got angry. Years later, I realized that the pained silence around the coffee table was caused by some taboo topic I bought up in the conversation.( but we Dutch people are very open, and that you can't be in Sweden )

And since no one here will tell you what it was, it will take some time to fine out what is right and wrong.
I still don’t know what the social code is!!
I try to understand of the Swedish unspoken rules, and to know how to break them. Because now I know what they are (not always, I still make mistakes) never just tell it like it is; never contradict any one, even in a debate; never try to show that you are better than any one else. (That they thought when I had the Quilt club, there I became better than them, which I not was I only wanted to help them to get better!)

I try to observe the way the Swedish doing things! A lot of things surprise me! And even make me sad. Almost everyone is friendly and helpful. Unless you ask for something that is against the rules. Then you run right into a brick wall.

I spoke to many people, who are angry, who believe (as I do sometimes as well) that we are victims of discrimination and sometimes they are- discrimination against people from other countries; it is not uncommon.

But as often as not, it’s question of rules. Most Swedes are absolutely unwavering: if the rules say do it this way, this is the way to do it. There’s no point in discussing it, you will just make a nuisance of yourself (which I often did, because I did not know). That is not discrimination- it’s the same for native Swedes.

You have to put up with a lot, living in Sweden. You can’t give up; you need give Sweden the benefit of the doubt! Even if it sometimes difficult, it is a beautiful country, and every 3 months I need to run away to meet people, with who I can discuss and can say what I think, but after a few weeks when I arrive at the airport in Sweden I am happy to be home.

I survive Sweden with my E mail friends and with my web-site , I miss my freedom of speak the thought which I have , we Dutch people are very open , so sometimes we speak quicker than our brains, and that will be my dead fall in Sweden.

So now you know how live in Sweden is.

Sorry dat dit in het Engels is, maar dit verhaal had ik al een paar jaar geleden geschreven, hoop dat julie het toch begrijpen.

Fijne dag groetjes Joke